I can see patterns of behavior and perception I passed down to my children. I see my children’s patterns passed down to my grandchildren. I can see the patterns of my parents passed along to me. There’s some good stuff and some not so good.
It has taken me a lifetime to know which patterns served me and which ones I needed to transcend. My children will need to do the same ~ and their children.
There’s no such thing as a perfect situation that would generate the “best” patterns. We are an ever-evolving humanity and we learn as we go. I think in many ways we are getting better ~ more conscious of what works and what does not work. There is more conversation about discovering patterns of behavior and having the ability to change them.
No matter how great a parent you want to be. No matter that you don’t want to do some of what your parents did, you will at least do some.
In my own journey I came to appreciate my parents even more as I had my own experiences in life, including being a parent. I could see how certain of their values empowered me and others limited. Those patterns passed down to me may not have limited my parents, however, because those patterns were not my truth they limited my expression.
So, while the lessons come from our experiences in growing up with parent’s patterns, it’s not about our parents; what they did right or wrong. It’s about knowing ourselves.
At some point in our maturation we have to get over it; the “it” being that disempowering pattern we picked up from our parents.
I got to thinking about this when a question came up in a workshop for healers I recently delivered. The question was what was best thing they could do to serve God and humanity. My answer is always the same ~ get to know yourself. What really makes you tick? What inspires and motivates you? What upsets you? What causes you grief and worry? What are your strengths? What are your liabilities ~ those areas where if you could change them would create a greater version of you and your life experience?
This takes a lot of self–inquiry and processing of issues. And in the end, it is the most beneficial. We need to be clear in order to assist others to clarity. We need to have the inner peace that comes from being a clear human being so we can contribute to peace in the world. We cannot contribute what we do not have.
I like to think my parents did a better job than their parents; that I did a better job than them. I know in many ways my children are doing a better job than I did. And none of it is perfect; it’s not supposed to be. At least perfect in the sense that there are no challenges, nothing to transcend, learn and grow from.
Bottom line is we are all on a journey of awakening and that means we each have to get to know ourselves. In that knowing ourselves we can correct what is not working about us and we can acknowledge our strengths and greatness.
May We All Walk in Beauty